You all heard me fret about running out of clothes and fearing money. Uggg. It was hard. Two weeks ago, my mind was playing some tricks. It was nutty and you guys called it. Here is what has happened since.
I have been busy! I was in San Francisco last weekend. Just before I left, realizing that I didn’t have enough working pieces for a four day trip without doing laundry, I retired my too short shrunken navy blue slacks and replaced it with a dress.
Then, just before my trip, I took my favorite blouse into the dry cleaner. I went back the next day and they told me that the blouse was hopeless. They didn’t even charge me. They said there was no sense in trying. I almost cried right there in the store. I could feel my eyes getting glossy. But as soon as I could feel my emotions on my face, I started to giggle just a bit because WHO THE HECK CRIES AT THE DRY CLEANER?!?!?!?
I walked home thinking about my lost and beloved blouse, about how I don’t want to spend the money on buying a new one, and then, I wondered… could things falling apart actually be a provision for me? Could it be GOOD that this stuff is getting messed up and stained up and shrunken? Could it be TIME? Could that piece just be DONE? Could the opportunity for a new piece be a question asked afresh– What do you want?
What do you want, Julie? What do you want? I get this feeling that there are a lot of things in my life right now that are coming to their moment of undoing. As I anticipate that moment, I am scared, but I am forced to live and move forward anyway.
I don’t know what is going to happen to me, my home, my job(ish) things I have going on. I have put so much effort and energy trying to plan for this moment, but as I sit here with tremendous uncertainty, I know I need a few more replacement items. One needs to be a sweater, the other probably a blouse. I need them for another work related trip that is coming in a few weeks to Vancouver, BC.
Wish me luck on finding some efficient, beautiful, inexpensive, yet good quality replacement pieces.