A few weeks ago I spent an evening with one of my closest friends, Christy Brown. After my droning on and on about my new found closet-related freedom, she decided to take the plunge and let me hack away at her closet too. Having just moved, she didn’t think she’d have too much to get rid of, but, well, she was wrong.
We started by pouring ourselves some glasses of wine, then headed up to her bedroom. The first thing we did was pull every single item of clothing out of her closet and drawers. She kept saying, “Wait. This too!?” And I kept saying “YES!” until everything was piled on her bed and her closet was a clean slate.
We decided on three piles: Must Go, Keep, and Can Decide Later Tonight. Christy had a couple of distinctive issues come up for while cleaning out the closet. Like Julie and me, she had a hard time saying good bye to expensive pieces of clothing, no matter how redundant or rarely worn. She had been gifted with some really nice cocktail dresses over the years, and though she had way to many for how often she wore them, it was hard for her to let go, thinking of all the money that was spent on them at one point. She had also held on to a lot of unique occasion clothes, such as knobbly, knitted scarves and hats she’d designated for skiing (note: I’ve known Christy for 14 years, and have never heard her talk about going skiing before that evening. We got rid of those). She also had a lot of “date night” clothes she only wore to dinner with her husband (she kept most of those, after swearing to wear them more often), and Disney themed items brought home from trips to Disneyland and Disneyworld, but not actually that wearable for a 27 year old, professional, woman (we got rid of most of those, too).
As we were getting down to the end of the piles and about to go through her Decide Later pile one last time, she, somewhat sheepishly, revealed a little secret. She had more clothes stowed away in her husband’s office closet, and these weren’t just your normal clothes-clothes. Christy had saved a pretty significant collection of formals and ball gowns from her many high school and college dances and banquets. Her first two years of college she was a piano performance major, and so had some recital dresses tucked away too. All in all there were about ten major dresses she had saved and carried with her through four moves and ten years.
We giggled our way through a fashion show of sorts, as Christy justified each dress, declared it’s gorgeousness, and explained the sentimental value it held. Our friend Abigail had joined us by then, so the three of us had a lively debate (we’d had some more wine at this point) about the value of sentimental ball gowns, a conversation I never thought I’d have. Abigail firmly advocated donating them all to one of the several Los Angeles charities that donate gowns to lower-income girls who want to go to their high school prom, Christy said she was planning on giving them to her (currently non-existent) children, I thought maybe we could go half-and-half. After a while she decided she could get rid of six, and would save four for a little while longer. We bagged all the clothes she wanted to donate, decided what pieces she could sell, and put a significantly smaller collection of clothes back in her now much roomier closet. After getting rid of about half of her wardrobe, she hasn’t yet missed a single piece.
If you’re looking for more reasons to clean out your closet, don’t. Grab a bottle of wine and some friends, and make a night of it. Whether it be ball gowns or old scarves, you’ve probably got a lot your don’t need, and it’s only weighing you down.
I was raised in a home where you keep the fancy dresses. My mom still has many of her prom dresses and such. I can deeply understand the impulse, but also the freedom of letting such beauties go to others who can appreciate them. May I suggest taking a picture of the gal wearing her beloved gown before letting it go? That way she always has a reminder of how beautiful she felt in it!
Monica, I made the picture argument as well. “Do you have some great pictures from that night? Can you appreciate those?”
Ummm. We may need to confess to Christy, and possibly all of your readership, that we have two large plastic storage boxes with almost every dress you and your sisters wore to banquets, balls and flings! And then there are my prom dresses from the 70′s which I now realize are considered vintage after checking out the Etsy site you mentioned!
Even some of your eighties stuff is considered vintage now! We could totally sell that black dress with the big poofy sleeves and red roses all over it.
Well, well, well. Your secret is out, Cate! Now it’s your turn to get rid of all your highschool formals. I know where you live and work so you don’t stand a chance on this one.
You know, it’s funny. I wasn’t thinking of those dresses as “mine” because I haven’t seen them in so long. Mom packed them away in our storage shed so long ago, and I haven’t thought about them again! I think she’s intending them for grandkid costumes?
That dress is from the Laura Ashley store at South Coast Plaza. Big deal then, I don’t think they still exist. I also have A Gunnysack dress in perfect condition that would probably due well, but I think I got rid of my big shoulder padded power suits.
Cate, I enjoyed this post thoroughly. Want to come back and help me with my closet? If so, could we substitute whiskey for wine? Much more fun that way.
I’ve been considering my closet. I didn’t realize wine was the missing ingredient!
if you only wear it for one night…it seems only right to keep it in your closet 10+ years. right….? then you can take the price and divide it by the number of years…and feel much better about how much you paid. this is how things work.
As far as the preservation of these dresses: there were SO MANY that it seemed impossible that every single one of them could be sentimental. I understand saving a wedding dress. I don’t understand saving high school formal dresses when you were going to three formals a year (as we did at my high school). When I was attending dances, I didn’t even understand the need to get really fancy dresses to be worn once and bought only two in total and improvised existing clothing for the other dances. Of those I long ago got rid of one and decided to keep my senior prom dress. (It’s now in storage with my other “keepsake” stuff. When I keep clothes for personal reasons (like my high school uniform or a singular favorite t-shirt) they don’t stay anywhere near my closet. That stuff gets labeled and stored and I’m only allowed (my rules) to have two tubs of this stuff anyway so I still pare down as a I get older.
Plus, I mean, Jessica McClintock isn’t the same situation at all as a hand-made (or even designer) gown.
Every time I clean out my closet, I debate over those sentimental and/or expensive dresses. I am encouraged by the photograph thought… It’s the memory, not the possession. Obviously my wedding dress won’t ever go… But I think I need Cate to tell me “no!”… and wine to soften the blow.
xoxo
Sounds good to me Adge!
You are welcomed any time!!!! xoxo
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